I hear you call out for me..
I hate to see the pain...
I want to help you,
but how can you help someone,
When they don't want to help themselves.
How can I take this pain away...
When you are the one that has to stop the pain,
Then it, will set it free...
It's time for you to let go,
Can't you see...
Cause look what it is doing to you my dear,
& to your family...
The pain you have held within,
You see...
It's making you go crazily...
Stop hurting yourself,
Stop hurting me,
Stop hurting your baby...
Can't you see,
What it is doing to you my dear...
It's time for you to gradually,
Set yourself free...
& be who you are meant to be.....

Get up in the morning,
Frustration...
Everything is suffocating me,
Frustration...
Why do I behave they way I do,
Frustration...
It's driving me crazy,
Frustration...
So were do I begin without this,
Frustration...
By loving me!!!
& to forgive myself & to others,
that have hurt me so...
Stop this hatred & this pain I hold within...
Please set me free...
Let me be free...
The person I used to be....
Let me feel the love inside of me,
The way I used to be...
Take this pain, guilt, frustration, lies & hatred away from me...
I just want to be free...

I woke up after a dream....
Why do I have these dreams....
My sister tells me, I should write them down...
But I don't want to read about that same dream, 
in my thoughts consistently...
But I do anyway... 
Running through my thoughts, consistently...
My mind goes to pain at first,
Why?
Because of pain of lost....?
The lost of my children, the lost of my love, 
my heart....
But in the end no matter what, 
there is always a ending.
There's no denying that......

I need to find another way expressing,
not by speaking...
Express it to myself, as what I am doing right now...
Express within, express to me, 
let it come out naturally...
Don't hold it within,
express it to me, myself & I.......
Who else do I need... 
I need to learn to trust within, love within...
Let me be there,
let me feel that pain from those fingers tips,
express, let it go, let it go.....
Let them talk your thoughts,
don't be scared were here for you.
You always had yourself to begin with...
But lost yourself, you need to pick yourself up..
Bring you back to reality....
You can only find it,
within.......

Sometimes I just want to flee, run & just keep running...
But running is all I ever knew....
But when I was running I was free...
Free from the pain...
But I'm leaving something behind who are the world to me, the universe my life....
My family....

It's over cast,
It's cloudy,
Is it going to rain?
Let the new year begin with the rain.
Wash away all the pain & struggles,
people endure through out the years.
Let this be the year...
The year of letting go,
The year of peace,
The year of starting fresh,
The year of forgiveness,
The year of change,
The year of learning,
Let this year be free.
Let this be the year....

I sit here typing my thoughts....
Reading my thoughts
Listening silently....
It's so nice to hear silence....
It's comforting,
It's peaceful,
There's a calmness, surrounding me....
I feel content,
I feel at peace....
This is the way life should be...
Why do we let those people in....
To cloud us with there unhappiness,
There pain, anger, problems 
They endure within....
Why do we let them in......
You give them your love, your heart, your kindness....
To let them feel again....
For them to take it all away again,
that goodness you have within.
Why do that,
To yourself.....
Why let them take it all from us,
For it to start the rain again,
& cloud us with there pain....
We are stronger then that,
We are better then that,
We know better then that,
So why do we let them in.......